DRINK!

The big news of the day is that tonight the country will finally bond together, cross the aisles in rare bipartisan unity, and join in the finest of American traditions:

STATE OF THE UNION DRINKING GAME!

Rules are basic:

#1: Drink upon any mention of the words I, me, my or mine. All foreign variations = two shots of hard booze in quick succession.

#2: Drink each time Pelosi jumps out of her seat/Joe gooses her.

#3: Drink when Joe looks confused/pissed/surprised/uncomfortable/or scratches something, including Pelosi.

#4: Drink at any galley outburst. YOU LIE!

#5: Drink at any hint of Obama practicing "smell the fart" acting as he waits for the lagging/fast forward Teleprompter.

#6: Drink, with fist-bumps and WHOO-HOOs!, at the mention of dearly departed Ted's wishes for healthcare that Brown and you totally f-ed up with your independent thinking and mad voting skilz.

#7: Drink when camera pans to Michelle's bare arms.

#8: Drink at every reference of Bush screwing things up or how Obama has no complicity in the affairs of our nation one year after his reign.

#9: Drink when Barry says he's doing what the American people want/need/are begging for and it's full steam ahead, screw the polls and critics.

And finally,

#10: Disregard rules 1-9 and just drink whenever Barry slips with reality.

We gonna be blotto!

DRINK!